50 Things That You Are Not Allowed To Do In Hoggies.

1. I will not poke Hufflepuffs with spoons, nor will I insist that their House colors indicate that they are "covered in bees".

2. The Giant Squid is not an appropriate date to the Yule Ball.

3. I will stop referring to showering as "giving Moaning Myrtle an eyeful".

4. If a classmate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that fact and draw a Dark Mark on their arm.

5. Starting a betting pool on the fate of this year's Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher is tasteless and tacky, not a clever money-making concept.

6. I will not tell Ron and Hermione to "Get a room" whenever they start to fight.

7. The Forbidden Forest is forbidden for a reason.

8. Remus Lupin does not want a flea collar.

9. I will not change the password to the prefects' bath to "Makes getting clean almost as much fun as getting dirty".

10. Asking "How do you keep a Gryffindor in suspense?" and walking away is only funny the first time.

11. I will not offer to pose nude for Colin Creevey.

12. I will not greet Professor McGonagall with "What's new, pussycat?"

13. I will not take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter.

14. I am not allowed to ask Hermione and Ginny if they know what a 'menage a trois' is.

15. I will not send shampoo to Snape's office, no matter how badly he needs it.

16. Naughty jokes regarding "Moaning" Myrtle are only funny the first time.

17. Singing "Slytherins are Sexier" in Potion's class will not get me extra points.

18. Even though they are easier to use and probably more effective, I will not use guns against the Deatheaters.

19. Screaming "VOLDEMORT!" in crowded hallways is not in good taste.

20. Stealing Draco's underwear and selling it on Ebay to horny fangirls is not ethical, nor profitable (note to self: Steal Potter's underwear instead).

21. I will not refer to Ron Weasley as "that red-headed twit" in polite company (impolite company is just fine).

22. The "I Hate Snape" Club is not a valid after-class activity.

23. Making Harry Potter action figures without his permission is wrong. Making Draco Malfoy pay double for them is also wrong.

24. I will not tell Grawp that "Hermy" will give him a kiss if he eats certain members of the faculty.

25. "Potter 6, Voldemort 0", is not a valid T-shirt slogan

26. Writing sexy love letters to Professor Dumbledore, signed by "Your Kitten", is not a ethical means to skip Transfiguration class (though it is effective).

27. I will not address the Professor with a loud "Heil Umbridge!" and accompanying salute.

28. Having Colin and Dennis Creevy follow Harry Potter all day is cruel and unusual punishment.

29. I will not sell pennies as priceless, Muggle collector coins.

30. I will not spread rumors about Draco's deviant sexuality.

31. Asking Professor Snape to show you how to make a love potion is not reccomended.

32. I will not charm Firenze pink and call him "my little pony."

33. Madam Pomfrey does not dispense condoms.

34. Do not ask Professor Sinistra to show you "Uranus".

35. A good way to piss Hermione off: Write "Hermione Granger was here" on multiple library books, thereby banning her from the library.

36. Dobby, even though he apparently went to grammer school with him, is NOT Yoda in disguise.

37. Telling the first years about the time your friend got eaten by the giant squid is NOT appropriate. Ever.

38. No matter how good a fake Australian accent I can do, I will not imitate Steve Irwin during Care of Magical Creatures class.

39. Growing marijuana or hallucinogenic mushrooms is not "an extra credit project for Herbology".

40. It is a bad idea to tell Professor Snape he takes himself too seriously.

41. Sir Cadogan is not one of the knights who say "NI".

42. I will not offer to prepare tandoori owl.

43. I will stop charming Professor Snape's robes to bright purple (or any bright color for that matter).

44. Mail order dinosaurs are NOT good birthday presents for Hagrid. No matter how much of a discount you get on them.

45. "Quidditch Players Do It in the Air" broom stickers are not allowed.

46. Shaving Mrs. Norris is not a public service.

47. Polishing my wand in the common room is acceptable. "Polishing my wand" in the common room is not.

48. Seamus Finnegan is not "after me Lucky Charms".

49. Asking Professor Flitwick if there is a charm to remove clothes, or give you x-ray vision, is not permitted.

50. Asking Professor Flitwick where Snow White is is not permitted.

ROFLMFAO!

Isn't this from mugglenet? O.o

Oh well, still funneh. xD

I will send Dumbledore sexy love letters signed "Your Kitten."
Singing "Slytherins are Sexier" is a very good way to get points in any class, actually.
I used a gun against a Death Eater once.
Killed him in an instant.
And I also made HEAPS of money off selling Muggle coins as priceless collector artifacts.

20. Stealing Draco's underwear and selling it on Ebay to horny fangirls is not ethical, nor profitable (note to self: Steal Potter's underwear instead).

LMAO!!!

-in an irish accent-
Seamus Finnigan is not after me lucky charms!
ROFL!

lol, one of my favourites...

Also,
I will not tell Sir Cadogan that the Knights Who Say Ni have challenged him to a duel and then have students yell 'Ni!' from various directions.

.. why did you do this..

.. why did you do this..